I went to Safeway today, and bought some eggs. I have bought these local farm eggs many times, they are good, they are inexpensive, and buying them is a small way of supporting the local farmer, rather than the monstrous battery farm. I like these eggs.
Today, however, I was accused of trying to steal another, more expensive, brand of eggs by sneaking them into these boxes! Seriously!
I picked up a box, and it had a broken egg in it, the cardboard was wet and slimy, and had soaked several other boxes, too. So I picked through until I found 2 dry boxes, checked the eggs inside for cracks, and put the boxes in my cart.
When I reached the checkout, the lady on the till checked the boxes for breakages and asked 'do you want those brown ones?' to which I replied, 'oh I don't care, they're all eggs, it's all the same to me'. I have bought this brand of eggs many times, as I said, and have had brown, creamy, speckled and white eggs, and have never thought much of it, they're farm eggs, one doesn't expect them to be all the same, one is actually quite charmed by the little egg personalities exhibited by their shells...
The checkout person then began a tirade of 'just so you know, those brown eggs come from a different place to the white ones and they're worth more money so you can't put brown eggs into the white egg box and expect to be charged the cheaper price for them'. What?
I pointed out that I hadn't put any eggs into any boxes, I had just picked up 2 boxes of unbroken eggs, and she continued ' now there's another box back there that has some brown and some white eggs in it and that poor person is going to get charged brown egg price for your white eggs' - and again I told her 'but I haven't moved any eggs, I just picked up 2 boxes with eggs in them, it's not my fault if there are brown eggs in my white egg box. I have bought these eggs before, and there have been brown ones in the boxes, I just thought that's how they came from the farm', I said.
Oh she wasn't having it, she told me again that she had scanned the boxes and 'let me' have the eggs for the cheaper price 'just this once' but warned that 'next time' I was to leave them how I found them and not swap eggs around from box to box! She told me that the only reason I'd 'got away' with it before was that no-one else was checking the boxes - I can't remember the last time my checker did NOT look in the box, they always check for breakages, but never mind, I'm an egg thief, nothing I say can be trusted.
I pointed out that there were quite a few broken eggs back there and that it was possible that staff were reboxing, so as to be able to sell as many as possible, and my lovely lady went off again 'well, I'm just going to have to talk to the dairy manager about this and find out what's going on back there!'
- and at this point I zoned out, realising that it was hopeless, I was not going to be able to get my point across, everything I said was not going to be heard, I had been accused, and that was all there was to it. I vaguely considered leaving, with all my goods still spread across the conveyor belt, but then realised I had already scanned my debit card (curse my efficiency!) and so I stayed, smiled and waved, and left, with my five contraband brown eggs.
I'm going to eat one tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure I'll REALLY enjoy it!
P.S. No photo of todays walking, but according to my little counter I have logged 6363 steps today - hurrah! Probably the egg thievery contributed a couple of hundred steps as I paced back and forth waiting for my opportunity to switch eggs around between boxes while no-one was looking ;-)